EVEN IF THE SHOE FITS, SOMETIMES IT NEEDS SOME SHINE
As this post has nothing to do with food, I won't hop onto the traditional soapbox of eating well, eating (at least somewhat) naturally and treating your body like you give a damn. You should still do all of those things despite my not venting about them. Don't worry though, folks, I'll bring the steam back into the broccoli soon.
What I will talk about instead is this: people notice if you have a slack shoe game. People will also notice if you have a slack slack game, but let's stay in line with the video from above for the moment. You think that you're escaping the judgmental glances of your peers as you roam the office hallways, your shoes looking as though you spent the last six months punting dirty footballs. They are watching you though. Despite all your efforts to duck and dodge, they see those grizzly creatures gnawing at your heels.
Thankfully there is a solution to this troublesome conundrum: improve your shoe / shoelace / sock game. It sounds simple. That's because it is simple. If you're tired of meeting the office execs in those dusty pavement pounders, the first step is to realize that you have an issue. This phase is sort of like a drug addict checking themselves into treatment. They probably won't know to get help in the first place if they are unable to admit they're a drug addict. The good news is that changing your shoe / sock game is way easier than becoming unaddicted to meth. Moral of the story: get some fly shoes...and don't become a drug addict.
What I will talk about instead is this: people notice if you have a slack shoe game. People will also notice if you have a slack slack game, but let's stay in line with the video from above for the moment. You think that you're escaping the judgmental glances of your peers as you roam the office hallways, your shoes looking as though you spent the last six months punting dirty footballs. They are watching you though. Despite all your efforts to duck and dodge, they see those grizzly creatures gnawing at your heels.
Thankfully there is a solution to this troublesome conundrum: improve your shoe / shoelace / sock game. It sounds simple. That's because it is simple. If you're tired of meeting the office execs in those dusty pavement pounders, the first step is to realize that you have an issue. This phase is sort of like a drug addict checking themselves into treatment. They probably won't know to get help in the first place if they are unable to admit they're a drug addict. The good news is that changing your shoe / sock game is way easier than becoming unaddicted to meth. Moral of the story: get some fly shoes...and don't become a drug addict.
::Dead Giveaways of a Slack Shoe Game::
- Always walking to the toilet extra fast. Yep, the shoe game is wack.
- Pant leg openings are wider than a river. Classic side effect of a poor shoe game.
- Feet are perpetually under the table during meetings. This chap's hiding something.
- Frequent in-office luncher. Either a fan of this blog, or they have bad shoes.
- More than an inch of rubber connecting your shoe to the floor. Just no.
 | Wearing some ish like this is also a sign that you're shoe / sock game may not be dying - it might be dead already. Do not let me catch you out a.) wearing these sandals...period, b.) wearing socks with sandals...ever, or c.) wearing socks with little curls at the top. This just isn't cool. |
While I'm happy to poke fun at such a serious issue, I'm even more excited to say that there are some very simple...wait for it...steps that one can take toward changing their feet's fate. Let's all let out a joyous battle cry: THEY DON'T HAVE TO SUFFER ANY LONGER! I also choose to stay on the cheery side of things here, i.e., showing pictures of good looking shoe / sock combos, as opposed to blasting you with more examples of how not to assemble your ensemble. There's already enough bad shoe juju in the world without my adding to it.
::Potential Remedies to a Flawed Shoe Game::
- Ask three fashion-forward friends if you need help. Awareness comes first.
- Learn and be able to define the terms full, half and quarter brogue. Knowledge is key.
- Polish your shoes. You don't need new shoes, just make them not look old.
- Buy awesome socks. Trust me, you'll pay more attention to the shoes by default.
- Buy some awesome laces. No one wraps Dollar General gifts with gilded ribbon.
::Signs That You're #killingthegame::
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You now have a nice platform from which to elevate your shoe game from office slob to BLOB - street speak for really awesome. Before I set you free to begin your own restoration journey, here are a few of my favorite brands, and places to find those brands, that make the transformation possible at fairly reasonable price. Now get out there and stop running to the potty to avoid office ridicule.
| Shoe Brands
| Sock Connections
| Locales
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Just a reminder of the before and after.
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